Self Care

Recently, there has been an article about self-care circulating around Facebook via several ladies I know. The tag, if you look closely is Self Care: How to Take Care of Yourself When You Have Depression. I am not a person who suffers from depression unless you count a few relatively short bouts of sadness, but this article really got me thinking about how one does and should take care of one's self.

What does Self-Care Even Mean?

Social media leads me to believe that self care is motivational quotes served over a Sex And The City style boozy brunch, blowing off impending deadlines in favor of some fabulous time with my ladies and/or a credit card, eating decadent meals and treats, buying expensive things, wearing incredible 'impromptu' outfits and taking beautiful Instagram photos (And yes, it is true that there is something totally cathartic about these things). OR a hike in the woods, with a spur of the moment pretzel-twist yoga pose with perfect lighting and a "You are Enough" tagline. Don't get me wrong - that's the kind of Self-Care I yearn for but is not necessarily practical in the day to day marathon of my Life.

The Atlantic wrote a really lovely piece on Self-Care, and how it fits with the rest of the internet  (click here to read it) 

According to dictionary.com Self-Care is 

noun 1. care of the self without medical or other professional consultation.

goodtherapy.org says

The term self-care describes the actions that an individual might take in order to reach optimal physical and mental health. Mental health professionals often use the term self-care to refer to one's ability to take care of the activities of daily living, or ADLs, such as feeding oneself, showering, brushing one's teeth, wearing clean clothes, and attending to medical concerns. Physical self-care, such as sleep and exercise, is also an ADL.

Self-care can also refer to activities that an individual engages in to relax or attain emotional well-being, such as meditating, journaling, or visiting a counselor. Because an extended failure to care for one’s self can result in illness or hospitalization, individuals who find themselves unable to take care of their own needs may find it helpful to speak to a therapist.

In fact, I think Self-care is really what you need it to be. It can be anything from wearing clean clothes and feeding yourself to indulging in recreational activities. The University of Kentucky has a nice little hand out on the subject that covers the generals quite nicely (click here) I don't necessarily think this solves any of the things that need self care solving.

Anyways, my brain started churning and I started evaluating my habits and habit goals to figure out where I hide some self-care and what it looks like.

I broke my self-care goals and habits into daily practices and long term habits to see what I do to LITERALLY take care of myself. Some of these things are really unfun and were covered in the aforementioned articles (e.g. paying bills, eating food, wearing clean clothes, brushing teeth etc.) and some are the "does that really count as self-care?" kind of way.

Behold! A list of what I do (and try to do) in order to maintain some sort of control over  life on the musical run.

DAILY

Read a Book

Every night. Before Bed. Fiction if possible. Obviously not a whole book all at once. A couple pages will do. This will make you a more empathetic person. I'm not lying! The research is in and you can read it here

If you need a musical reason - look what the Kronos Quartet tweeted a few days ago... (click here to read the full Washington Post article)

This is scary guys! Don't let books die! Research says we need them! They make us human, they help us communicate! We need that, dare I say more than ever these days.

I still love this book. For the record, Blanche loves books and despises technology.

Calm 

Magnesium. Not really something we think about very often. I will be the first to say that I didn't even know it was a thing we really needed until a few years ago and now I firmly believe that every performer needs to be hooked on this like drugs (or sugar). Our poor little adrenal glands are just pumping away and we drown them in coffee and stimulants making us more haggard, grumpy, groggy, anxious, nervous, etc. I started 'using' during my Masters Degree. Almost immediately I felt the effects. I was calm in the face of snarky professors, I didn't take things super personally, I felt rested in the morning , less jittery at performances and all around more clear headed (don't even get me started on bowel movements). 

From www.breakingmuscle.com

According to the makers of Natural Calm, magnesium deficiency can result in symptoms such as: stress, low energy, muscle tension, muscle spasms and cramps, headaches, insomnia, fatigue and weakness, abnormal heart rhythms, hormonal imbalances, weakening bones, constipation, anxiety, and irritability.

~Hello everyday anxiety! I know I'm not the only one who complains about these things at rehearsals~

About Natural Calm

Natural Calm comes in powder form and should be dissolved into hot water. You will see the powder react to the water forming a fizzy solution.

According to Natural Vitality, Natural Calm is an ionic form of magnesium, which increases its bioavailability. As their brochure explains, "An ionic mineral is an element that has a charge, either positive or negative. On the molecular level, that means the element has either one too many one too few electrons. This unstable ionic state allows the element to bond readily with water, making it possible for the body to absorb it.” Natural Calm is easier to absorb into the body because of its liquid form and therefore more advantageous than taking magnesium by pill or capsule. In addition, Natural Calm is designed to have low acidity to allow it to both dissolve properly in water and not affect the pH-balance of your body.

For a good time add some Melatonin to the mix. I recommend writing your dreams down if you do this.

Stretch/Do Yoga

You don't have to go to a fancy yoga studio to stretch your body. You don't always have to do 'Power Yoga'. You don't have to lose albs of sweat to have a yoga practice.

Sometimes I have to squeeze my yoga in backstage, in heels and concert clothes.....that's how important it is to me!

In fact, just buy a book, or google a yoga class, or move your body in a way that makes you groan and moan (in a PG kind of way). I've been doing this long enough to know there are some pretty tight and 'juicy' spots in my body that need attention everyday. If I don't do this I literally feel like my body has been shrink wrapped in super tight plastic wrap. Do you know what that does to your psyche!? TERRIBLE, STIFF THINGS! The yoga teachers of the world know a thing or two about this and have written books galore on the topic. If you're new to my blog you might not know how cool I think B.K.S. Iyengar is and I really encourage you to skim some of his writings on the topic of yoga, pranayama, asanas, the sutras of Patanjali. 

Books about YOGA, Violin, Music, B.K.S.Iyengar, meditation.....you probably need all of these.

I do this for a minimum of 30 minutes a day. Two words - HIPS and SHOULDERS. If you hit these bad boys with some yoga you will breathe deeper and feel calmer. I guarantee it. Sometimes I like to challenge myself and work on the 'fancy' stuff that you see all over Instagram, sometimes I like to hang out in poses for several minutes at a time, sometimes I do both. 

Move your body

I consider exercise a daily necessity. I need to burn off some of the stress. I need to make my heart pump, my muscles sore, and my body sweat. I don't consider my physical maintenance a luxury, I consider it a necessity. A requirement for high caliber violin playing and teaching and inter-personal skill(ing).

running - just one kind of body moving I partake in.

Practice

Doesn't this count as work? Yes, I guess? But I'm not talking about prepping for the weekend concert, I'm talking about technical maintenance and improvement. I spend 30-60mins per day doing technical warm ups and drills. My dog and boyfriend hate me (and Carl Flesch) but again, this is not a luxury it is a requirement filed under Self-care.

I see you hiding there Mr. Flesch.....

Hydrate 

A constant struggle. I can typically be seen clutching an over-sized water bottle. No matter what this is difficult for me. One day my body will just give in and be hydrated. Until then I will neurotically keep my Hyro Flask close by at all times. Drinking enough water everyday flushes out all that yuck from your body, and helps you feel more energetic

WEEKLY

A Day Off!

This one is hard won. I am always so tempted to over schedule myself. MUST TAKE ALL WORK OFFERED is the general mindset of freelance musicians. This year, I have fought hard to keep one day obligation free. Don't get me wrong - I still 'work' I just don't get out of my pajamas, I don't teach a single lesson, and I certainly don't go anywhere work related.

This is tough. 

When rescheduling lessons I'm often tempted to use this day to work with students or help out in the music library. Then my nagging internal voice says "NO! BE SELFISH!" And so far I don't regret it.

Sarah Paulson recently kind of spoke about this in an interview for GQ. She talks about finding success later in life, taking naps and reading books on a day off, and not feeling the need to work constantly. I used to think naps were for the weak! Now I applaud the confident napper. Your brain thanks you for those minutes (or hours) of snooze. Also, her interview is pretty great if you, like me, are not a child prodigy and didn't become wildly successful in your career early on in life.

This mythical, mystical day off is also the day I go to my happy place - the horse barn - for a riding lesson and a few hours away from emails, phone calls, metronome speeds, bills, auditions, and dissertation writing. I always return home rejuvenated. Something about horses, man......more on that some other time.

Sonrise Stables

Bubble Bath

This is borderline Social Media Luxury. Honestly, I intend to do this once a week but it happens more like once a month.

Run a hot bath,

add Epson Salts,

add bubbles,

toss a few drops of Essential Oil in there.

apply a face mask,

light some candles,

turn on some music,

or a podcast, or book on tape (cramming empathy into every corner of my life!)

Just chill out.

Do NOT make To-Do lists, text, email, worry, stress, or let what is outside of the bathtub get you down.

After your bath go straight to bed. You will sleep like a baby and wake the next morning feeling refreshed and revived.

Monthly/Long term

Boring Stuff

Pay bills/clean the house/file all of the receipts/stare blankly at personal accounting software.

You get the picture. Some of this tuff should probably go on my weekly self-care list but honestly this is just a pile of 'care' that I do because I know it needs to be done. 

Pedicure

I mean come on, a foot rub and some toe nail TLC never hurt anyone. Reflexology is a thing! Don't deny those pressure points! When was the last time you gave yourself a foot massage?...Exactly! 

Plus this is pretty much the only time I ever open a magazine. It feels good to catch up on the gossip and fashion while my feet are being made fancy.

Body Massage

I wish this happened more often than it does. I know I sound like such a broken record over here whining about the aches and pains of string players but I genuinely believe the human body was not created with the intent of holding a string instrument for 3+ hours per day. A good body worker/massage therapist pretty much takes a rolling pin to the kinks (not really, obviously) and puts everything pretty much back in place. Plus it helps prevent and ease depression. So find yourself a good one and never let them go!

as read on www.MassageEnvy.com

Massage Therapy Helps Lift Depression

Taking time for massage is as important for people dealing with depression as it is for people dealing with arthritis, sports injuries and carpal tunnel syndrome. WebMD reviewed more than a dozen studies that revealed how massage can fight depression by lowering cortisol levels.

Cortisol is the body's response to stress, and massage therapy lowers it by as much as 50%. At the same time, massage provides many benefits and can also increase the levels of serotonin and dopamine, which are both neurotransmitters that help stabilize your mood.

Results of Massage

The International Journal of Neuroscience studied a group of people with spinal cord injuries who were also suffering from depression. Twice a week for five weeks, half the patients received two 40-minute sessions of motion exercises while the other half received two 40-minute massages.

Both groups improved their physical abilities during that time, but the people who received massage therapy also became less depressed. So even while exercise has long been accepted as a means of combating depression, massage not only provides additional benefits but can also relieve stiffness and soreness resulting from physical exercise.

What do you do to take care of yourself? Any seemingly boring tips? What about the fun and glamorous things? Leave a comment below and share your Self-Care!  

resolutions and the lessons learned along the way

Winter is one of my favorite seasons, I love this time of year! I love the cold, crisp weather, the comfort foods, the winter activities - both indoor and outdoor - it is a time to reflect on the past and also carries the promise of a new year and the exciting possibilities to come.

I am also a secret, not-so-secret lover of New Years' Resolutions. Let's be clear - I am not a fan of the "this year I am going to lose 10lbs" resolutions or other attempts at superficial and often temporary change or success. What I am a fan of is the idea of giving oneself goals, of trying to implement a new habit or two, or a resolution to do something new (or finish something old).

I generally set myself a long list of things I would like to accomplish over the year - ranging from more trivial things like 'cook more' or 'read 3+ books for leisure' to larger things like 'take more auditions' and 'train for a specific event' (hello hood to coast in 2012). But sometimes resolutions with a seemingly straightforward outcome can open a multitude of other possibilities in need of exploration. For example:

Last year one of my resolutions was to accomplish Hanumanasana aka the splits. This was a year long endeavor that I did not successfully conquer...yet. My anatomy and lifestyle preferences have lead me down the path to tight hamstrings and stiff hips. I blame this partially on genetics and also my affection for endurance running. As a result the required openness in the lower body has not come naturally or easily to me and I have struggled with this all year. Some days I came closer than others but to this day (the very last day of 2014) I have yet to achieve the full expression of this pose. After months of practicing yoga almost every single day; going through sun salutation after sun salutation and attending class regularly I wasn't seeing much progress. This was frustrating but did not stopped me from learning some very interesting lessons along the way. I could not make sense of my limitations and this frustration and confusion coupled with a borderline manic desire to do the splits lead me on a quest to confront my body and anatomy. I found new classes that taught me flexibility through strength and alignment and I learned little by little how to release and open parts of my body I previously did not have access to. Here are a few more lessons I learned through NOT accomplishing my New Years Resolution of 2014 - 

• I learned that by telling myself how tight my hamstrings were actually made them tighter. That seems confusing - but it is analogous to getting on stage to perform and saying to yourself "I hope I don't screw up!" and then having a performance mishap. By saying "my hamstrings are tight that is why I cannot go deeper in this pose" adds rigidity and limits motion. Now I try really, really (really!) hard to accept how it feels in the moment without judging it as good, bad, tight, inflexible or painful.

• On a related note I also learned that you cannot judge something while you are trying to be successful at it. As one teacher put it; "it is impossible to create and to judge simultaneously". It is much more effective to reflect back on your practice and evaluate what happened, where the tightness and weakness exist rather than to convince yourself of some other reality in the moment. -If you tell yourself a tale it may just come true - so why not tell yourself something positive like you can do something! Or simply forget the narrative and just acknowledge how good the stretch feels.

• ~NO JUDGEMENT, JUST BREATHE~ One teacher gave me this mantra and I still repeat it almost daily. This little saying works wonderfully in all settings. From a yoga practice, to teaching violin, to performing, and even to everyday human interactions. It helps one stay calm and present and ultimately have a more rewarding experience that is not hampered by ones own psyche.

• I learned that, as in violin, swimming, running or anything that involves using the body, good technique and focus garners better results than mindless movement and repetition. Try practicing (the violin) mindlessly for 5 hours versus 1 or 2 hours with immense concentration and you will almost immediately see the difference. Pamela Frank speaks briefly on this here. The same can be said for learning and executing proper swimming technique; less repetition with better form is more beneficial than 100s of laps without purpose and attention.

• I learned a great deal about anatomy - way more than I ever expected to know....ever! Basic structure and physical alignment, joints, superficial muscles vs. deep muscles, opposing muscle groups, how to use my body more efficiently and how to best lengthen hamstrings (and other muscle groups too) were regular talking points in yoga class. This knowledge is like a constant hum now in my life. Now I try to use specific muscles required for good posture as I sit in the car, and engage specific muscles as I practice violin. Life in general became much more exhausting when I learned to turn on areas of my body that typically remain passive and unengaged in my daily routine.

• By strengthening my basic poses, more advanced asanas improved as well. Much like practicing scales daily and feeling more secure in difficult repertoire, practicing the core yoga poses - those that can seem easy, basic, beginner level and unrelated to more advanced postures - yield unexpected results in more demanding poses. Who would have guessed that having stronger legs made handstands easier? I certainly didn't!

The moral of the story is that I didn't achieve Hanumanasana per se in 2014. What I gained instead was more information, a passion for the process, a deeper love of asana practice, an approach to being a musician flavored by my yoga practice, an appreciation for my body, and motivation to stretch the boundaries of my physical body even further. I plan to carry this resolution into 2015, 2016, and into the unforeseeable future not only because I still can't do the splits but also because I learned so much from this quest that I did not anticipate learning...And I have a feeling 2014 was just the beginning of the journey.

Happy New Year!