Hello, and welcome to my rant about yoga culture in the United States and why I finally decided to become a certified teacher. This blog post is minimally edited on purpose. I am confused about yoga teachers' role in society, and I have mixed feelings about adding my name to that pot. So Buckle up and enjoy the tirade.

I did it. I finally enrolled in a Yoga Teacher Training course. Soon, I, too, will be another 200-hour certified yoga teacher ommmm-ing through zoom and posting inspirational quotes on Instagram.

I've been shoving my body into shapes without a certificate for years, but it never felt authentic. It didn’t feel true to my essence. I need this certificate to legitimize my yoga experience. Until now, I have been a well-researched fraud. I have been a body consumed by inauthentic asanas. Finally, my yoga practice, research, and the benefits I receive from yoga will be validated. I can evolve and count myself as one of the enlightened beings destined to walk this earth in pursuit of the perfect pair of yoga pants.

Okay, I kid. Maybe I went too far. I love yoga. I’ve practiced yoga for over 15 years in all shapes and sizes, and I derive enormous benefits from the practice. I am incredibly excited to take my education and understanding to the next level. Still, I am also aware and somewhat annoyed by the notion that anyone who wants to pay can just become a certified teacher. Where is the lifelong commitment? Where are the pre-requisites? Shouldn’t there be an audition process? Is this just a money-grabbing scheme by yoga teachers and studios? What, you thought it was cool for 6-months, so you took a course online or went to some exotic yoga retreat halfway around the world and became a teacher? Nobody thought to say, “hmmm, that’s great. Why don’t you study a little harder and take this placement exam first?”

In the classical music world, you would never pick up a violin and think, "wow, this is cool!" and then enroll in a violin teacher training program a few months later. This is the antithesis of what we learn in music school. And the honest truth is, I kind of agree, and I'm not sure I'd want to go to that class. But this seems to happen in yoga teacher training, and it really frustrates me…along with a few other things.

The honest truth is that I’m not interested in swilling beer while I flow. I don’t want to go to your booty-sculpt class. I don't prioritize the calorie burn of my yoga practice, and I vet yoga teacher knowledge and experience before I show up for class. I read bios, and if possible, check websites… and to be clear, I bet that if snotty me read my own soon to be yoga-bio, I probably wouldn't go to my own classes either.

I want a yoga teacher, and I want to BE a yoga teacher whose practice has evolved and stood the test of time.

You know why? Because the general public trusts yoga teachers too much.  

• We trust them to know everything about how the body works.

• We trust them with our physical pain,

• WE trust them with flexibility issues.

• We trust them with spiritual guidance.

• We trust them with nutritional advice.

• We trust their product and service recommendations.

• We trust their views on lifestyle choices.  

…and so much more.

I know this because I have done this and still do it to this day. I’m just a little more discerning about whose advice I want and am willing to listen to. So when I look for a yoga teacher, I want someone who has LIVED his or her advice and worn it for years before espousing it as tried and true. I don't want help with pelvic stability from someone who goes hard on a Friday night (no offense) and checks their phone while teaching class – yes, I've been to that class. Just because you can nail a handstand does not mean I want your input on politics. I don't want a hands-on adjustment from a teacher who can't explain what they are "assisting with." I certainly don't want you to tell me that to improve my energy levels, I should join you on a juice cleanse...because most likely, you are just starving.

As a yoga student, I have experienced all of these things. I have listened to these voices in my community and viewed them as leaders in the wellness world and then drove myself crazy, trying to follow their advice. It can be like fitting into a dress 3 sizes too small. No matter what, it’s not going to be pretty and definitely not comfortable.

With our idealized body shapes, beauty standards, flexibility paradigms, and obsession with wellness fads and trends, our society has done a disservice to the general public by lionizing and augmenting yoga teachers' social currency—especially young yoga teachers. I mean no disrespect to these teachers, but I pray to effing god or the Buddha or whatever the coolest trendiest spiritual being out there is that I do not become this. I do not want this, I don't want the students who want this, and I am not interested in perpetuating this culture. It is unhealthy and toxic and benefits nobody except the athletic wear companies.

I have changed. The world has changed. Things that were easy in my early 20s are more challenging now. I am not interested in going to a hanumanasana workshop with a yoga teacher who used to be a competitive gymnast. I can’t relate, and never could, to their physical experience, and chances are they can’t relate to mine either.

At this point, you may be thinking, "Wow, Hannah, is there anything you DO like about yoga? You really seem to dislike quite a bit about it."

Why did I do this training if I scoff and laugh and roll my eyes, and go on a tirade about yoga teachers? Why bother?

Well, many reasons.

I recognize that yoga is not a cure for everything, and yoga teachers are not doctors. I know that yogis are attracted to different aspects of the practice. Yoga has so many benefits, but it cannot cure ALL that ails. However, it offers many benefits, and those benefits outweigh the negative qualities that I have (not so) eloquently highlighted above that exist in association with the practice. Here are some of the reasons why I am proud, excited, and honored to be on my way towards the title of Yoga Teacher.

• I wrote my dissertation about it (you can download a copy here), specifically about Iyengar Yoga and violin playing. Ideally, I would love to be an Iyengar teacher, and one day I will (bucket list). However, this process is long and intensive – as it should be – and very tricky to fit around the fiddlings of a freelance musician. While I derive many benefits from other yoga styles, Iyengar Yoga brings me peace and calm, I find nowhere else.

• I have wanted to get certified as a teacher for over 5 years.

•  There is always more to learn.

• I love yoga. I derive enormous mental and physical benefits from daily practice. I want more people to have this experience, and if I can, I want to help them find it.

• Yoga is an excellent tool to investigate the self. I want to further my own exploration, and also be able to facilitate a small part of that for others.

•  I want to feel more confident in sharing my knowledge with others. Similarly, I want my students to feel comfortable with my credentials as a teacher.

• Now that I am halfway through this training, I realize how much I still didn't know about yoga – the traditions, philosophy, origins, etc. I am appreciating that by deepening my own awareness and education, I can help others more fully.

•  I love teaching and educating. I love facilitating growth and creating a safe, comfortable, and enjoyable place for people to come together.

• Sharing what I love with people who want to learn about it is one of the simple pleasures of my life. Whether we are talking about tea, violin music, yoga, fiction, or anything else, the fact that people WANT to do that with me is a great joy. 

• I see music-making as a full-body experience. One that can be enhanced by many lessons learned on the mat. I see yoga as a full senses experience that takes the practitioner on a journey of self-inquiry and discovery. I love that process. It is beautiful, and ideally, music should also cultivate some of this. This is the “fringe” I want to explore most deeply.

• What I love most about yoga, is that you practice it entirely for yourself. There is no enlightenment competition. There is no stage where you have to show up and perform. There is nothing but continually returning to a state of oneness, whatever that means for you. Chasing this elusive Unity and ease is what keeps many of us returning to our trusted yoga teachers and yoga mats. 

• Nobody makes you go to yoga class. You are there for yourself. That matters. The intent of your presence is meaningful.

• I have met some of the most special people in my life through yoga. It can create the most magical community.

 I am coming to terms with that; ultimately, any training is precisely what you make of it. The more you put in, the more you get out. At the end of this training, I may have the same yoga credential as someone who has been practicing for less time or someone who has more yoga ability (whatever that means). Still, I know that my experience guides my education and outcomes and will take me to a whole different level of personal accomplishment and satisfaction. I’m not saying I think I’m a kick-ass teacher. I’m merely saying that in some ways, I do consider this a calling. I don’t want to tell you what is right and wrong in your life. I don’t want to sell you diet pills or protein powder. I know and own that this training does not qualify me to advise on a whole spectrum of loosely related topics. I just want to geek out about stuff that I find really useful, awesome, and beneficial in the hopes that you will derive benefits from it as well. Hopefully, this will ultimately inspire you to hang out with me more often. By doing so, we can cultivate a little community that fosters personal growth and authenticity. A place that we can return to and find solace and comfort in and use to fuel our lives and find peace and contentment.

Is that too much to ask?

I'll be blogging more regularly about movement and yoga, so stay tuned for more musings on the topic coming to you for the rest of my blogging days.